Back to School Blues... Why am I never ready?

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Kindergarten, 1st Grade, and 2nd Grade

It's your time to SHINE, sweet child of mine.

Back to School Blues - that's a thing, right? I'm sure it is because I have it. And so does my husband (and even our smallest son), which confirms I'm not being over-sensitive. But why is it so hard? Why am I never ready and why doesn't it get easier? I've heard you counting down the days this past week. I've seen your face light up and that big smile of yours every time school has been mentioned. It makes my heart happy that you are so excited to see your teacher again, because you liked her so much at Open House. As ready as you are, my mama-bear heart just isn't.

Today, you take on 2nd Grade! We are so proud of the boy you are. We love your enthusiasm, energy, creativity, and kind heart. I'm so excited to see you grow this year, but that's also where my heart starts feeling those tugs. Is "Back to School" so hard because it represents you being another year older? Probably, because as fun as every stage of life is, we want to keep you little. I want to keep you hidden from the world and immersed in play, adventure, and imagination. But if I have to be honest, I also don't want to share you. Every year when the upcoming school year rolls around, I'm giving up one of the most important pieces of me, and that is YOU. I was fortunate to be able to put my wreath business on hold to play with you all summer long. We played, explored, conquered fears, enjoyed some much needed family time together, and soaked up some sun. But time with you is never enough. You're growing faster than I can keep up with and another school year is upon us. I want to be there with you. I want to know that you feel comfortable and confident. I don't want you to worry or feel alone, and I want to hug you if you do. I want to be in control, but as you grow and become more independent, you have to experience things on your own and that's a hard thing for me to let go of. I know you are in a school where you're loved and with a teacher who cares. I know your friends are there with you. And I know that you are okay. In fact, I'm pretty sure you're having a blast!

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so emotional, but sorry not sorry, I love you too much. You are our first born and every new experience for you is also new for us. We are learning with you. We're in this together. (Insert HEART emoji!) So now that I'm teary-eyed thinking of what a blessing you are, I can't help but smile. You make us so happy. With that being said, I'm just gonna take a deep breath, look at the clock to see how many more hours until your arms are wrapped around my neck, and wait to hear about your AMAZING day! Today is a HAPPY DAY, this I know. I cannot wait to see the places you will go.

I pray that you are happy and confident in YOU. Be brave and kind in all that you do. Listen, learn, and always do your best. You are a blessing my son, so loved in our nest.

LOVE,
Mommy




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